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Beijinger in Denver | 北京人在丹佛

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“As I began to love myself” by Charlie Chaplin

This was written by Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday. Seems very related to the insights gained through meditation (or live experience in general).

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!*

-via Reddit

My Favorite Blog Recently – Manhattan Nest

I enjoyed a lot of blogs. Recently I am really impressed with Manhattan Nest, whose writer is a very very young person. He is probably still a college student or just graduated, but he writes so well. I came across this blog when I was googling cute pit bull pictures – something I do to make myself happy. And I found this picture of one of Daniel’s dogs:

Isn’t this the cutest ever? My Roxie does the same thing to her toys and looks the same when she does it. So committed.

Then I read his post about his dog. It was is so touching and spoke all the feelings I had for my Roxie. His writing is sooooo good and put me into soooo much shame that I almost wanted to terminate my blog. But I will keep practice maybe one day I could write like he does.

Head to his blog here and you will enjoy it! I promise! He writers a lot about home renovation which were very good, detailed posts compared to other “famous” home renovation blogs.  I personally enjoy his post in “life” the most. He is very young and still figuring out relationships and he describe them very very well with the passion that only a 20-year-old could have.

You’ll Know. :)

How do you know that he is the one? 

It was my two-year wedding anniversary last Saturday. We celebrated by reserving time for ourselves separately in the morning (me: Yoga and gardening; him: sleeping), then checked out a couple dining options TOGETHER which we always wanted to try. In the evening, I set up some string lights in our living room and we talked. We talked about our childhood, our dreams and what we want to do for the whole evening. It was truly the best night I could ask for. The whole time I kept thinking how lucky I was to be with him, then the next morning I read this post.

It could not have been better speaking of my minds even if I had done it myself. Here is a short list:

We laughed at each other’s jokes.
It was a choice.
It felt inevitable.
We became a team.
He made everything better.
It was never a question.
I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
He was the nicest.

I met my hubby when I was still in a relationship. It was pretty committed but did not feel right from the beginning. I made a mistake staying in it thinking that I could work on it. Then I met hubby. He was not the “type” I imaged myself falling love with, And I honestly had never thought about dating a foreigner before. But here he came, speaking English and thought Chinese food was no more than orange chicken, made me feel like relaxed from the first minute. With him I always felt comfortable, energetic and happy. On top of that, he smelt very good to me. 🙂

It felt inevitable, so I made my choice and stayed with him. It was not an easy choice, and it did hurt some people and created inconvenience, but I am glad I did – I just could not image being apart with him. And I guess only marrying to him can make it work.

Looking back, what did he have to make me feel that close to him? One thing I was, and am still impressed by him is that he is very nice, very considerate, and very very generous. It is easy to say someone is a “nice” guy. But in real life, it takes a lot to be nice. That means you have to be compassionate, then being considerate, then actually putting other people ahead of yourself, then act on it. I only knew a few people will go out of their way helping people, and seeing the whole group’s benefit as their own. Hubby is one of them. I thought I was nice before knowing him, but boy I learned soooo much from just watching him everyday!

Hubby is an introvert, a creative, thinking type of introvert. He is very smart, very knowledgeable, but only speaks about 1/10 of what he knows. Almost everyone in my family is an extrovert. I hate to admit but I probably act like 120% of what I know. So someone like him was really impressive to me. I had to read more, listen more, think more to be able to even understand him. It definitely changed my learning pattern for better.

We were friends for a few years first. Even there was mutual attraction at the beginning, we did not rush into anything but supported each other in a great deal the first a few years being in school together. It was tough for him first, then me, then him again, so I think we became a great team and colleague as the foundation of our romance, At the end of third year, we are inseparable to the point that we were almost family. Then we started dating really really carefully to not ruin what we have built. Gladly it worked out until today.

Now looking back, I guess we are qualified as “love at first site” and “it was never a question”. We knew all these time that there was something non-replaceable between us. Even we did not realize, we just know.

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